weird incenstuous moments and paintbrushes flying all over the walls

within the first ten minutes of amityville ii: the possession, you find that the oldest brother and sister have a flowers in the attic type dynamic going on.  it’s creepy, and no wonder he decides to shoot the whole family eventually.  he says good night to trish specifically and does not really care to do so for anyone else.  and they hug a lot and for a long time…. i’m just sayin’ creeeeeepy. 

The Crazy Man's Sexy Sister

The Crazy

The two little kids share a room.  now, any family stuck in another decade (which they clearly are) would make the boys sleep in one room and the girls in another. 

anyway, back to our creepy bro/sis dynamic. when the father acts all looooooney, trish runs up and kisses bro on the neck.  incest?  i think so.  ew.

speaking of the cuckoo father, boy he is the biggest douche on screen.  he yells at his wife and kids from the beginning.  but then less than a half hour in, he goes totally “cuckoo nutso” and starts beating his two youngest children with a belt and the mom (a beth grant wannabe) tries to stop him by scratching the shit out of his face.  when she does, he turns on her, and it takes the future killer pulling a shotgun on him to stop him from going so batshit nuts that he murders his whole family on the scene.  of course, none of this seems to be all that out of the ordinary for this vaguely italian family.  and i have to say, whatever it is i do not love about this movie is made up for by this mean bastard and his comeuppance.

the “scary” business starts right away in this flick.  unlike the lutzes of the previous film, it’s obvious right away that there are baddies in the house.  baddies who wants “sonny” (stand in for ron defeo jr.) to get down to the bad making.  the first time the momma (aka beth grant lite) turns on the sink it runs with blood, obvious, much?  and of course, less than 20 minutes in, the paintbrushes in the kids’ room paint a demon on the walls and writes “dishonor thy father.”  and by thirty minutes in, sonny has found an arm stuck in the mortar of the secret room in the basement.  and it gets freed and it fills his soul with massive evilness.  woooooo… scary.

the is where it’s major departure from the original film fails it.  it’s moving too quickly at this point.  whoa, horsey!  i can’t get all this info so quickly.  give me time!!  i need to get gradually scared, and then you can blow my mind with sonny climbing the stairs backwards on his but and staring terrified into the camera while he is being chased by what we can only presume is some kind of demon.  until it, GASP!, fills him with the spirit of baddiness.  and he then becomes a baddie.  the interesting thing is the way it chooses to enter his body.  you see, it seems supremely capable of opening sonny’s shirt, but its method of entry into his body is nowhere near as graceful.  it pounces down on him causing his abdomen to become misshapen until TADA!

and now sonny has evil pulsating inside him.

and that evil is pulsating into the house as well.  all manner of crazy things happen.  beds spin, shotguns fire, fire-burning stoves explode, etc.

and then sonny goes back to staring at his sister like a piece of sexual meat.  ew.  and she touches his face.  in the most intimate of ways.  and then bam… they are talking about marital rape.  it’s creeeeeeepy.  so so so creeeepy.  and the lines between family and lovers gets blurrier and blurrier.  and they play a game where she is the”beautiful model” and he is the “famous photographer.”  you see where i’m going.  here is my question.  why the fuck is she so easy to convince to get naked in front of her brother?????

okay, okay, so she finally gets that this is not okay.  and she finally decides to realize that fucking your brother is totally disturbing, but she has sex with him anyway.  it’s not rape exactly; well, not the way they portray it anyway.  but it’s something kind of close.  and as she says, he does it to her to hurt god.  hmm… incest=evil; not exactly original, but sure, i’ll go with it.

he’s possessed or whatever.  and it’s only a little scary from here on out.  the rest of the family is dead (because he shot them all with a shotgun), and he goes to jail saying he can’t remember anything that happened.  blah blah blah.more blah blah blah, and then priest is back.  he kind of looks like the guy who plays the main baddie in ghostbusters 2.  ghostbusters-guy1

so he is totally ready to cast the evil out of the boy who shot his entire family.  and this is where the flick loses steam.  who gives a flying fuck once the entire family is dead?  really, he’s done his worst.  just let him be possessed.  i mean, fuck, would this kid really want to live after discovering that he shot his entire family with a fucking shotgun?  i am absolutely sure that i wouldn’t.  in fact, i think leaving his soul to the demon is the kinder thing to do.  really.  let it fester inside him.  after all, we all know that hell is just a big party where john waters will end up going.  and we all want to spend our time with him. 

so the last half hourish of this movie is all about the exorcism of sorts with the Vigo-lookin’ priest and this kid who shot his whole family.  again i ask, why the fuck do we care?  what a stupid epilogue, seriously.  what a waste of goddamned time.

a better ending: shots of the whole house with dead bodies all over it.  and then credits.

all right, it’s okay.  it’s certainly not the worst sequel of all time… but it could sure be better.amityville_2_possession_poster_01

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~ by acaseofyou12581 on November 28, 2008.

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