Squint Eastwood’s Swan Song? Hmm…. No.

i was a little embarrassed the first time i admitted that i actually wanted to see gran torino.  i had a read a review telling me that it was clint eastwood’s (from here on out referred to as Squint) swan song.  they said it was the performance of his career.

you can read various reviews here: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/gran_torino/

i am sure you know the premise, but i will give you very short summary anyway.  a man’s wife dies, and he spends muchtime alone in his neighborhood (now being populated by asian immigrants) and eventually gang violence ensues.

i am sure you can fill in all the obvious blanks.

yes, i know that this is not something i would generally watch, but let’s face it, i am kind of a dude, so Squint is not exactly off my radar.  i will admit to watching shit like dirty harry with my dad and my grandpa over the years and getting a kick out of it.  i will also be honest and say that i think his films (other than unforgiven) have been steaming piles of shit.  really, letters from iwo jima was the most ridiculous piece of war propaganda i have ever seen.  i nearly threw up in my mouth just watching the trailer.

but still, on a trip home to see my very midwestern family, i found myself sitting next to my mother and father in a suburban movie theater watching what turned out to be quite an adventure in excusing racism.

so Squint is a racist in this flick (if you couldn’t tell by the obvious trailers).  one assumes that he stops being a racist when he decides to save sue and her brother toad (yes, he calls him toad–even after he decides he is not so bad for a “zipperhead”).  but no.  he continues to use all manner of racial slurs against people of all colors (even white…. using Dego, Mick, etc.)  He just can’t seem to get enough.

Now, the real treat of watching this film for me was not so much the negative behavior Squint was clearly reinforcing, it was where i watched it and who i watched it with.  just when i was starting to fall back in love with the midwest, i heard people (Flannery O’Connor’s “Good COuntry People”) laughing whenever he used racial slurs against people he was supposed to like.  why, i ask, is this something we are willing to accept?  why is it that his age and unyielding douchebaggery are considered humorous when they should be considered disgusting (because that is, in fact, what they are).

So, yes, i was throwing up in my mouth a little every time he spoke.

yes, i realize that these are all about the message and not the movie.  so let’s be totally honest.  the movie was absolutely medicore, and the acting (from everyone) was atrocious.  the young kids he was friends with and who were the hardasses in the asian gang, were terrible, but mr. squint “swan song” eastwood was the worst of all.

he literally growled.  fucking growled.  like a dog.  it is irritating enough that he can’t seem to open his fucking eyes, but his goddamned growling was condescending to anyone over five years old.

the actual plot was paper fucking thin, and all of the backstory about his being a korean vet was… well, a sad excuse for shitty behavior.  yes, i know this will make me unpopular, but i think we should try celebrating the people who overcome not are are overcome.

okay… now wait… the best part is this.  Squint sings the song on the closing credits.  holy fuck.  google it.  oh my god, how embarrassing.

all in all, i think reviewers have lost their collective fuckign minds.  this flick is shit.

squint-eastwood

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~ by acaseofyou12581 on January 20, 2009.

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