When Wood Pierces an Eyeball….

i am having a secret love affair with zombie movies.  all of them.  even the bad ones (like land of the dead… what a piece of shit).  i want to watch corpsey rotting people eat flesh 24 hours a day.  i want to see Fergie’s brain get eaten as often as possible.

because of this i finally queued the Lucio Fulci masterpiece that everyone’s been talking about–well, everyone int he circles i care about.  so of course, as soon as it arrived, i updated my facebook status to read: “So-and-So wants to leave work and go home and watch Zombie!”  i was just that excited.  but i had plans.  ihad to have dinner on the lower east side, and i had to take the cab uptown, and i had to take the dog out, and i had to wash the dishes, and i fell asleep before i could even think about watching Zombie. 

when the morning rolls around, i wake up earlier than i plan, and i pop this beast into my dvd player.

i am immediately in love.  as soon as the first zombie (who looks a bit like he was rolling in dry, country dirt) bites a cop on the neck in the harbor, i am sold.  i want to marry this movie.  when the blood that looks like red paint from a communist country starts spilling down the cop’s uniform, i am yelling at the screen.  SHUT UP!  i say.  but the film has so much more to offer, and i am stoked to see it.

of course, there is backstory here, but i won’t waste your time with it.  i will tell you that death after death comes, and many boobies on many unconventional beauties.  most importantly, you have never seen red like Lucio Fulci red.  there has never been a red so unlike blood but so pretty and so shocking.  this is a choice in style.  and that is what Fulci has.  he has style. 

i mean, how can you not think a man who would do this has style?


or this?


or maybe this.


all in all, Zombie is a winner.  and i think, if you enjoy bad dubbing and bad dialogue and amazingly gorgeous and terrible effects, this is flick for you.  it’s disgusting and totally worth screaming at your TV for.  check it out.


~ by acaseofyou12581 on February 5, 2009.

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