Ain’t Nothin’ Like Taintin’ a Beautiful Thing

Out of morbid curiosity I queued this abortion.

TCM 2

So now we know… Tobe Hooper is not a man who knows how to make horror movies.  He just got lucky that one time. 

In this particular piece of shit, we are faced with the macabre amped up, which let’s face it, makes it less believable and generally un-entertaining.  We get monologues from the BBQ guy.  We get a shitty replacement for Edwin Neal.  We get some vague and senseless Vietnam commentary, something that is clearly unnecessary (unlike in Romero’s The Crazies).

The real trouble is that not much is happening.  I am bored through most of this fucking movie.  It’s not crazy and frightening.  It’s House of a Thousand Corpses with a paper thin plot (which, of course, is better than House of a Thousan Corpses). 

Here are some questions:

Why the fuck does the Edwin Neal replacement keep scratching his fucking steel plate with a fucking wire hanger?  Didn’t Joan Crawford teach this son of a bitch anything at all?

wire hangers

Why are we treated to an exact repeat of the hammering scene from the original with a character much less interesting than Sally Hardesty?  (I mean, fuck, the lines are the same!)

sally hardesty

Why the FUCK is Dennis Hopper even in this movie?

dennis hopper

When does this shit start to make fucking sense???

TCM 2 family

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~ by acaseofyou12581 on May 29, 2009.

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