The Ole Switch(blade)eroo

As Switchblade Sisters (1975) is not really a horror movie, I will only say a short bit (however it is made by the guy that made Spider Baby, so that has to count for something).  This film (also known as The Jezebels) is a complicated affair for someone like me.  You see, I was built to yearn for it.  It’s a dish I love so sweetly.  Here’s the recipe:

7 parts bad-ass chicks
2 parts asshole dudes who get their asses kicked by aforementioned bad-ass chicks
80,000 parts leather
10 parts greasy hair
5 parts shitty acting
6 parts weird music
1 part vague lesbian references
2 parts double-crossing

(So far, so good, right?  Just wait a second.)

2 parts rape revenge
3 parts super-skeaze

Mix and bake, and you have Switchblade Sisters/The Jezebels.

You see, with all this vague lesbianism and totally insane double-crossing, I was bound to mate with this movie for life.  I mean, the acting was atrocious, and I was totally into it.  When the girls were fighting in the diner at the beginning, I thought, “Oh, shit, I am gonna have this movie’s babies.”  But then it turned a corner.

A girl got raped.

And you know how I feel about that.  If you want to contribute to the dialogue of sexual violence, fine, but if you fucking have a rape victim fall in love with her rapist, that fucking shit don’t fly with me.  From that moment on, I was like, fuck this movie super hard.  There just ain’t no recoverin’ from that shit.  I mean, what the fuck is this, an eighteenth century novel?  I’m sure Samuel Richardson would love the shit out of this movie.

EDITED TO ADD: They are remaking Spider Baby, y’all

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~ by acaseofyou12581 on April 21, 2010.

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