Another One for the Trash Bin

All right, okay.  So The Stepfather is not a particularly great film.  Yeah, I’ll admit that, but only on one condition–that you admit it’s a pretty good goddamned time.  I mean, come on Terry O’Quinn owns.  Have you ever seen a more convincing sociopath?  (Yes, of course you have, but just work with me here.)

AnyAmySteel, I obviously really love this movie.  It’s pretty fucking rad, y’all.  So of course, I had to watch the remake.  (Yes, yes.  I know I should not have chosen to do this, but we’ve talking about my compulsion to see remakes before.  Hello!  Last House on the Left.)  It’s on Netflix instant view right now, and I came home sick from work (barf), and I sat down to watch it from my hovel couch.

We should all know the plot by now, unless we’re babies who’ve just been born.  A man goes from family to family killing people because none of them live up to his standards.

Yeeeeessssss!  This has all the appeal of an eighties TV movie.  And that is where its appeal lies.  It’s a good fucking time, and well, the remake shit all over that.

I’m going to keep this short.

The film features an actress I love for being on Sisters reasons I can’t discern.  Sela Ward sporting some seriously disturbing plastic surgery plays the mom.  This should add to its TV movie appeal, but they don’t make much of it.  Instead she just sits there on the screen unable to work with the bullshit script.

And there are more kids.  (Don’t you love how I’ve completely abandoned transitions?)  There are three children, and well, two of them are completely unnecessary.  This is something I always find rather irritating.  It’s a waste of time/space/money.  Narrow it down.  Keep your film slim and uncomplicated, and you’ll be able to do the right shit effectively.

But the chief problem is really that I was generally pretty bored.  There was no tension.  No thrills.  And most importantly, the used the cat scare.  Lame.

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~ by acaseofyou12581 on July 7, 2010.

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