Down the Rabbit Hole Again

I locked myself out of my apartment yesterday.  No really, it was kind of bad.  I was wearing my green “Tokyo! Tokyo! Tokyo!” tee shirt and pick pajama pants when the delivery man called me and yelled in my ear.  I got all flummoxed (he really is an asshole), and I ran down to meet him sans keys.  Shit.  After much running around in the rain in my pajamas, I employed a man from the bodega downstairs to break into my apartment via the fire escape and let me back in.

It worked, and now I will always be afraid that he or his buddies will break in and steal all my precious DVDs.

So maybe I should have waited a few hours to watch The Descent 2.  I don’t know.  Maybe I should have waited a whole day.  Maybe I should have just not watched it at all.  Yeah, that’s the one.

This is going to be a short one, guys.

This movie is just . . . unnecessary.  The first film is a tight little booger, and I do so love it (see my earlier review).  It’s tense as all hell, and I can get down with that.  It’s filled with characters I not only cared about but believed were real.  And when Beth died, I really thought for a moment that I was going to tear up.  In fact, I railed against her death so violently that I almost deserted the film.  It is a testament to its mad righteousness that I continued to watch.

All of this is really difficult to accomplish in a horror film.

And the second film doesn’t really hold up against the first.  There is tension.  And it would work wonderfully, but it is sandwiched in such ridiculous unbelievability that none of that really matters.  If you can forget those enormous errors in scriptwriting, then I guess you could love this film, but I couldn’t.

For example, there is no way in hell they would ever make Sarah go back into that cave system.  No way.  I do not believe this for 2.5 seconds.  I can’t believe they couldn’t find some other way to explain this.  They could have made her insist on going back down or something.  They could have developed a reason that nothing else would work.  They could have done something anything to make this even a little bit plausible.  But they didn’t.  They phoned it in.

Juno is alive.  What?  No, really, what?!?  At the end of the first film, Juno is surrounded by crawlers.  No matter how much of a badass (and she is a badass) she is, she would never have survived that.  She had a severe leg injury.  It’s absurd.  And I don’t buy it.

And the ending.  Oh, man, fuck that ending.  Seriously, how stupid do you think we are?


~ by acaseofyou12581 on July 12, 2010.

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